I was thinking about this today, after deciding I needed to break off a deal that I was on the cusp of making (to buy a car through a private sale). I hate going back on my word, but I had been quite stressed about the whole thing. It wouldn’t drastically affect the seller’s life, but I knew it would be a set-back and annoyance for them.
After delaying for an hour, I knew I couldn’t just text or email them, as this didn’t feel right. I had to call them and break the news politely. So I bit the bullet (let’s see how many clichés I can get in!), and made the call. Now I feel like a large weight has been removed; and the seller knows and thanked me for letting her know. And the pain of the phone call only lasted less than a minute.
Now, if only these things could apply elsewhere. I wrote about rejection a few posts back, about putting yourself out there with your writing and dealing with the pain of not getting it published. I just wish this process could be as fast as ripping off the band-aid – unfortunately with writing, it can take months, often three to six months or longer, to find out you’ve been rejected. At least the pain doesn’t last quite that long!
And I once had a boyfriend who had decided, unbeknownst to me, that he was not really that keen on continuing with the relationship. Unfortunately he was the type who didn’t believe in ripping off the band-aid quickly. His way of dealing with things was to not make any contact with me for at least two weeks, and not respond to my attempts to call him. This was of course, hurtful and confusing for me, as we’d been in constant daily contact since meeting several months before.
When I finally got him on the phone, I ripped off the band-aid myself by asking him directly what he wanted to do. After some reluctance, he admitted that it wasn’t working for him and he wanted to break up with me. His defence in not telling me this sooner was that he didn’t wish to hurt me. That was sort of nice of him, in his own way, but I really would rather have the hurt over and done with!
So my motto here is, rip it off quickly, endure the short-term pain, and recover faster. If only publishers would heed these words when rejecting my writing 🙂